Stare at the Wall, Stare out the Window
by Star-Child-Yeci
Summary: One Shot / He sees them, they see him. His name's Arthur but everyone calls him "Boo". As he watches, the summers go by and the years end. Even though he hasn't been caught, he's still scared of Nathan. Boo's perspective of the first 7 Chapters of TKaMB.


**A/N: **Here is a Boo Radley Perpective that we had to do for English; only the first 7 chapters, only four pages. Hopefully I did it justice; the example we read in class used really big words and was confusing. I really didn't get how that worked out but the student got a really high grade. Here's my take on Boo Radley, hope you enjoy it!

**Summary: **He sees them, they see him. His name's Arthur but everyone calls him "Boo". As he watches, the summer goes by and another year ends. First 7 Chapters of TKaMB

**Rating: **K+ to T for abuse and insanity

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It was summer again. The year is 1933 in this sleepy, tired, town of Maycomb. I try to look out the window without being caught. Nathan would be mad if he saw me. I whistled a tune; it helped me not lose my head, not to lose my sanity. I kept watching the street. Then, there were some children. Two boys and a girl, they seemed to be arguing. They were pointing at my house. The older boy seemed flustered, the younger grinned as wide as a Chesire Cat. Yet the girl, the girl was what caught my attention. She simply stared at the house, as if she knew I was there at the window.

Searching for a sign of movement, her eyes looking the house over. She turned to the other two, muttering something. The younger boy regarded her for a moment then turned to the other, saying something that caused his grin to widen. The older boy turned beet red. After a moments hesitation he ran up the walk. He tried to look imposing, he touched the wall of the my house and began to run as though the devil wanted his hide.

It amused me, I tried to imagine Nathan's face if he was here watching. I felt like laughing that I covered my mouth with my hand and bumped into the shutter. I flinched and hoped that Nathan wouldn't catch me. I needed to move away quickly. With one final look outside, I saw the girl. Staring. Right at me. Biting my lip, drawing blood, I began to hope feverishly that they would leave. That they would hurry up and leave before Nathan came back. I hear Nathan coming down the steps; he would have their hide!

I looked through the window, they had already left. I sighed, relieved. Quickly moving away from the window I began to stare at the wall. "I'm going out." I turned my head towards him, my eyes still fixated on that spot on the wall. Then my eyes followed. I stared at him, with an untold insanity deep within me. I breathed deeply, like I always did. I nodded slightly and he left. Nathan didn't suspect a thing.

* * *

  
Summer came and went. I could no longer look out the windows, I had almost been caught. Time for school, time to walk past the Radley Place. The boy from before would sometimes run or try to be brave, walk slow, then speed up again. Amusing, to say the very least. It was strange how they walked to school. He brought with him the same little girl from before. I continued to watch them, as they passed by my house. They were interesting, to say. When they had finally passed, I began to do eat my breakfast. Thinking as I bit into the bread about what I should do about 'em.

Should I tell Nathan? Nah…wouldn't want to worry his head none. No sir, I'm not that stupid. He would get mad for me defying our chance at salvation. I bit back a bitter laugh. _Salvation_ he calls it.

I looked at my breakfast, with a downcast look. Another bite. Chew. Swallow. Time seemed to slow, stretching endlessly. I waited and waited for the children to pass by again. I couldn't breathe, there was an intense weight on my chest. Come on! Hurry! My head began to hurt. It was pounding, the blood thundering in my ears…

Then after so long, they came walkin' down the road. Relieved I watched them intently. Memorizing as much as I could. They were unknowingly my friends. Yet with them was a bare-footed, thin, and dirtied little boy. I identified who's family he belonged to, that boy was a Cunningham, yes sir. I watched them walk past the our place. A renewed bravery, the Cunningham boy seemed to occasionally glance at my home.

Oh if Nathan knew. Nathan would skin 'em, saying things like _Salvation _and _Sin._ Ah, brother, what happened to you? What happened all these years that changed you? You weren't like this before, nome. Pondering my thoughts I turn my point of vision to the wall. It's a sin to kill a mockingbird, remember that Nathan? Nome, I don't think you do. _Days pass. I stare at the wall. Days pass. Keep staring at the wall._

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Nathan becomes…worried. Saying that I haven't been like this since I stabbed Father with them scissors. I tilt my head. Try to keep up the façade, never speaking. I get hit across the face. Told that I'm a sinner, that I'm the lowest of the low. I'm the reason he suffers he says, I'm the reason Momma died. I stare at the floor instead. Blink away any would-be tears. He grabs me rough by the chin, turns my head around.

He's yelling now. He's furious, spit lands on my face. He's just like _him. _Just like Father. With that I make a resolve. I will step out of this house. I will break the rules. I will make myself known, if only a little. "Don't be so blind! Stupid, stupid Arthur! Salvation! That's what Momma and Pop wanted, right? Right? You keep crushing my hope, _our hopes, _for it!"

_I'm not stupid.  
_

_

* * *

_

I snuck out of the house. Middle of the night, just like how they say. They say that Boo Radley sneaks out at night and goes a-peeping and a-poking through the neighborhood. Well now he does, but his name ain't Boo. It's Arthur! But I never liked the name Arthur much, but Boo ain't all that hot either. With a sigh I take the two pieces of gum. Chewing gum wrapped in tin foil. I left it in the knothole, she would see it. I'm sure that she will see it. I smile and hurry back to the house. I hope she finds it; oh please find it! Everything I ever wanted since I was trapped in that house is just this. Have a connection, somehow to the outside. She finds it and that makes me content. I broke the rules. __

Take that Nathan! 

I do it again, leave something new. There, see? You got yourself a present from Arthur Radley, no shame in that. Yet today I'm just staring out the window again. They other little one is back and they are playing with a tire. I watch, amused; the game seems so fun. I want to play too. But I can't! I can't! I continue to watch, I must satisfy myself with just this. Just this little taste; the little girl goes next. The tire stops…here…in front of the house. I flick my eyes towards the ceiling. Nathan, please don't notice 'em! Keep doing what you do up there, don't come out here, don't look out the windows! As if hearing me, they leave soon after.

This time they're playing a game. I see myself stabbing Father with scissors, Momma in her chair. Nathan pacing in the middle of the house. Yes, this is the Radley Game; they re-enact us. Not quite perfect yet it's good. Amusing, it makes me laugh. Then one day they stop, they stop playing the game meant for me. Though now I know who they are, they belong to Atticus Finch. I know deep down that not even Finch can stop 'em now; they want to meet Boo Radley but I can't leave. I can't leave this accursed house.

They come to get me instead; I saw them. Nathan had been with me. He noticed the sudden sound of the shutter. He had his shotgun with 'im, aimed and fired. My eyes widened as I slowly turned to look. He runs out onto the back porch and start yelling. Things happen, time passes far too quickly. Next thing I know I'm outside looking at the fence. There I find a pair of pants, ripped. I patch 'em best as I could. Lay them on the fence so that the Finch boy can get 'em real quick.

The next day, Nathan fills up the knothole with cement. He knew the whole time.

"You've been talking with 'em, haven't yah Arthur? Stupid Arthur you ruin everything."

_I'm not stupid._

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